And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him…
One of the topics that is talked about the least but has one of the strongest grips on Christians as well as non-Christians alike is sex. A lot of people either put this topic in several categories: either its "all good", meaning that since God created us with this strong desire then it must be "ok" to engage in sexual activity with little to no restraints, some take the perspective that sex is an embarrassing subject and avoid it at all cost unless reproving someone for some consequence of it, while some see it as a sinful act which should not be discussed at all and it becomes the "elephant" in the room which causes havoc in millions of lives. This topic is vital as misunderstanding what God has said about it has caused many Christians to fall out of fellowship with God and many non-Christians at times refuse even to give God a chance because they can't see how they could ever live without sex. As with most principals, the truth is somewhere in the middle. By God's grace, we are going to briefly look at what the bible has to say about it. Even though many believe the bible is outdated and "old fashion" it remains the source of truth that our lives should be governed by, it is our compass, and it is relevant whether we choose to acknowledge God's Word or not.
Looking back to the beginning of time God created and gave man and woman the desire for sex. Remember that when God created the earth and placed man in the garden, He desired all parts of His creation to be fruitful and multiply and He clearly tells Adam and Eve this in Verse 28 of Chapter 1. So the initial command to multiply was given before Adam and Eve disobeyed God and fell into sin. Once that initial act of disobedience was committed through the partaking of the forbidden fruit, the scriptures tells us that their "eyes were opened," and they could behold good and evil. Again, when Adam and Eve were removed from the garden in Genesis Chapter 3, God pronounced that Eve's desire would be toward Adam. This was God's plan all along to populate the earth through Adam and Eve. Just think how many fewer people would have been born if men and women did not have a strong desire to procreate. If the act of procreation only involved the pain of childbirth (which was a consequence of Adam & Eve's disobedience), it would be highly unlikely that you and I would even be here. The human race would have never become what it is today.
Now, let's go back to the earlier reference of them knowing good and evil: as we mentioned earlier, when man had fallen into sin and consequently out of his once intimate relationship with God, one of the consequences was that he was no longer spiritually innocent, and as a result has an innate propensity to pervert that which was intended for good and use it instead for self-gratification and not for the glory of God, this is still within us today. From this perversion was born: polygamy, rape, pornography, domestic violence, homosexuality as well as any other variations and related acts of sex outside of the Institute of Holy Matrimony that God originally intended. This also includes having pre-marital sex, also known as fornication in many versions of the bible. Unfortunately, sexuality is commonplace in the world today, it is used to promote commerce, and many have learned to monetize the perversion of it, and because man is self-serving, it has become very acceptable and even encouraged in our society today. The driving force behind these perversions is and always has been lust and the self-fulfillment of that lust. It is no different than me stealing, which is born from an unchecked desire to have and then take someone else's property which does not belong to me. We know that stealing is wrong and if we are honest with ourselves, we know in our hearts that sex outside of marriage is wrong. In 1 Corinthians 6:15 the Holy Spirit through Paul tells us to flee fornication. Every sin that a man does is without the body; but he that commits fornication sins against his own body.
Again, the problem is not with the natural act of sex between a man and a woman, which God created, but rather the fact that we want what we want when we want it and oh yea by the way, how we want it. In reality, what we are saying with this attitude is, "I want to be in charge of my own life and call my own shots regardless of the consequences." The acts themselves are the expression of the desire for independence from our creator because quite frankly we believe we know better than Him. It's not much different than an 8-year old child telling their parents I want to move out and go it alone. This attitude has brought with it countless negative consequences that we deal with in our society: children born outside of wedlock, ruined marriages and broken homes, we are hurt and scarred and in turn we hurt and scar others physically, emotionally and spiritually, that's not even to mention the rise of sexually transmitted diseases (STD's). Or do you think it is just a coincidence that a biblical monogamous marriage between a man and a woman has the least likelihood of either partner contracting an STD, or resulting in a broken home? We have attempted to "deal" with it by "education" and contraceptives instead of stopping and looking at our hearts, if we dared to do so, it would be evident that many of us are doing this wrong.
Today, the human race is so far away from what God had originally intended for us and in fact we are steadily moving further away from it as we speak, and in order to quiet our consciences there is a calculated effort to change what God has declared regarding what is right and wrong, what is acceptable and what is not, what He intended for His creation and what is now outright defiance. If we continue down this path, it only leads to more and more blatant challenging of the authority of God Himself, and when there is a refusal to acknowledge sin, man will always look for and find ways to remove God from his conscience altogether. The Bible accurately prophesied this in Romans chapter 1 verses 26-28 which shows the general progression of man as he refuses to retain God in his knowledge. In turn, God says that He will give us up to uncleanness through the lust of our own hearts. In other words, if we try to control this strong natural and innate desire to procreate without God's help and involvement, we will pervert it into something evil. It will create pain, chaos, and heart-ache when in fact the original intent was to bring intimacy, strength, and life.
I am careful to include the term "we" in some of these descriptions as I know first-hand some of the consequences of these perversions. Growing up as an ordinary teenager in Maryland I wanted to have a girlfriend like all my friends and enjoy all that came with that lifestyle. So like everyone else I did. Even though I knew some of the things I was getting involved with were wrong, I didn't really understand why, so I thought to myself "well everyone is doing this and that" and nothing seems to be happening to them. In fact, they seemed to me to be having quite a good time, it all seemed like the natural thing to do. To add to all of this wrong thinking, it appeared that the more I involved myself with this lifestyle, the more I was "liked." So not only am I enjoying my sin for a season, but I also discovered that to be "cool" and to "fit in" and to be "in the know" this was the path I felt I had to take. I wanted those things far more than I wanted to know and please God, unfortunately for me at that time God wasn't even a close second. I thought those things would bring me happiness, satisfaction and all the benefits that I sought. I found out later that I was wrong, very wrong. To be truthful that revelation doesn't come right away in most of our lives. Ecclesiastes says in Chapter 8:11 "Because a sentence against an evil work is not executed speedily; therefore the heart of the sons of men is fully set in them to do evil." Yes, the consequences would follow, just like seeds of grain do not sprout the next day after you plant them so sinful deeds don't always bring their results right away, but they will. God is not mocked.
The bottom line is that when we are not where we should be in our relationship with God or worse we are not relating to God through Jesus Christ at all, we seek for and allow other things to take His place and most notably it will be me, myself and I, in some form or another. We can argue against God's truth, we can try to change what He has clearly spoken, we can try to "modernize" the principals of the bible so we can feel better about our disobedience, our rebellion and our lack of fear of God, but after its all said and done God will still be in charge, He will forever sit on His throne, He will not always delay His judgment and we will give an account for all we do, say and think. I believe if we really understood how much God loves us and is not holding out on us but has given us His commandments for our own good and well-being we'd have more gratitude and willingness to listen and obey.
A brief look into the results of our ignoring God's plan for our lives reveals that He is right and we are wrong. I can say in my own experience I can see the pain I've brought on myself and others just in the name of having fun or wanting my own way since I thought it was my prerogative to do so. I've been involved in wrong thinking and attitudes toward sex that most in today's society wouldn't even think were wrong, but I knew God was not pleased. Many times I took actual and perceived wrongs or slights and used them as "fuel" for revenge and selfish ambition. We see this in professional Sports and in Hollywood where some of the greatest actors and athletes have used hatred, anger, and the ambition to be the best at their profession and to build legacies fame and fortune, while society applauds these perceived virtues, God is not pleased. While we all have a free will, we all will have to give an account for the choices that we make and the motives behind those choices, from the greatest to the least. I will not be able to blame anyone else, or my environment, or past hurts or even abuses for why I excused myself from obeying God. The scriptures say that Jesus was tempted in every way and He was without sin. He is the way, the truth, and the life, He is the way for us to please God. Even if we find ourselves in circumstances that seem impossible, Jesus will always respond to the repentant and broken heart.
I don't claim to have all the answers for every person's situation, I have talked to people who want to discuss some of the more extreme circumstances, sometimes we want God to prove Himself to us before we will listen, though in actuality we are the ones proving ourselves to Him. I do know this, speaking from my own experience, there is no situation that Jesus can't handle. The Bible says that with man it is impossible, but with God all things are possible. God doesn't expect or even want us to try to "fix" ourselves before we come to Him, He will take us just as we are! Be assured He will not leave us like we are, He will make us like Christ if we give Him the opportunity.
The question is will we give Him that opportunity?