You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you. Trust in the LORD forever, for the LORD, the LORD himself, is the Rock eternal. - Isaiah 26:3-4
I have often heard it said that happiness depends on how life is responding to us, but character is shown in how we respond to life. As I have grown older, I have desired to respond better in adverse circumstances. Whether that is in the general circumstances of life or within interpersonal relationships with family, friends or business associates etc. This indeed has been one of my greatest challenges and I’m sure I’m not alone. Responding properly when life doesn’t go according to plan is something that has defeated me many times before I became a Christian and now I desire to respond not just properly but godly, yet at times I fall short of this.
Since this is something we all battle from time to time I wanted to look at the root of this problem. I have seen in the scriptures that it is a direct result from our original fall in the garden as described in Genesis chapter 1-3. I say our fall since we all fell in Adam, and as a result we all have been born into sin and as a result have forfeited our relationship with God and our confidence in who God made us to be. But thank God that through Christ the possibility of restoration is available to all who believe by the shed blood of Christ! Most of our sinful responses to life’s circumstances are rooted in this very real insecurity which replaced what was suppose to be the presence of our creator within our hearts. As a result, we often harbor many fears and doubts yet at the same time we act as though (whether knowingly or unknowingly, intentionally or unintentionally) we are fine and at times we may even pretend or worse actually believe we are better than fine. This pretense can expresses itself in many different ways, sometimes we overreact to a situation, which is usually at worse an insignificant slight or perceived injustice to us. At other times we may pull back and keep to ourselves while at other times we compulsively throw ourselves at our self imposed goals or over indulge in hobbies or pastimes which can result in neglect and procrastination in weightier matters of life. But because of our natural predisposition, it often expresses itself in either passive or aggressive thoughts of self-vindication which often leads to some sinful action or thought. Because of these insecurities that reside in each of us, and indeed we all have them, whether we are rich or poor, beautiful or average, intelligent or dull, we often feel that we are misunderstood, we are often frustrated with those that we interact with and even with life itself. If we are honest we feel that life is not completely fair and if we can or somebody would do something about this injustice the tide of disappointment would turn in our favor. In reality, many times we really don’t have a clear and concise picture of what that would even look like. So in essence, many of us are searching for something we cannot truly define let alone identify, and this too is frustrating. Yet most of us would rather pretend it's not there as we go full speed toward the unknown almost as if by instinct, hoping and believing that somehow the passing of time and a consistent effort that things will work out the way we want them to.
I have noted that individual personality certainly plays a part in the expression of our insecurities. Generally speaking, the more charismatic and passionate one’s personality the more demonstrative and expressive the vindication can potentially be. And on the flip side, the more subdued and stoic one’s personality the less demonstrative and the more indifferent the vindication can potentially be. Let me say this, neither extreme is more noble or less sinful in God’s sight than the other. His offense with this issue starts within our hearts and with our innate desire for independence and is not merely limited to the fruit of it. It is our independence that leads us to worship and trust ourselves rather than or more than God, which always leads to sin, and sin unrepented of always leads to death and this is why God hates sin so much. Now man on the other hand often values certain character traits over others and as a result has created his own substandard of virtues that are not God approved according to the Bible. Man has made certain expressions of his self-vindication much more noble than they actually are. And truly there are a vast range of these expressions. From unjustly taking of another’s life to the evil muttering contained within one’s heart that is never spoken out loud to everything in between, yet in many cases in the spiritual realm our heavenly Father sees them all the same, sinful. The scripture says out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks, yet even if the mouth is restrained it does not necessarily change the contents of the heart neither does it remove the necessity for the Lord to fully cleanse our hearts of the evil that we have to concede is there by our very desire to restrain it. Yet very often we “pat ourselves on the back” for restraining our tongue or some sinful action (which is certainly necessary and should be done more) and in doing so we ignore the fact that the tongue and the mind and heart had to be subdued in the first place, this too is sin if we don’t glorify God for that momentary victory. Much like a husband who rewards himself for not actually having an affair with a constantly flirting co-worker. Or the Christian who is overly pleased with him or herself that they stopped just short of letting a curse word fly. Yes, it is good that control is present but the satisfaction and contentment with this type of shallow sanctification will supersede the need and necessity for a deeper sanctification and thus it is not pursued because the need for more holiness, more of God’s righteousness and plainly more of God Himself is not realized and thus it is not pursued, this too is sin. For we are either drawing closer to God or moving further away from Him.
This leads us to the varying motives for restraint. The “why” is very important to the Lord and thus it should be to us also. If the man in our example above who showed discretion with his co-worker did so only to preserve his marriage, or to not tarnish his testimony among his peers, or if he just wants to avoid the guilt and shame of a scandal or the possibility of disappointing his children. These all sound like good reasons but if at the center of his right choice (righteousness) we don’t find the motive of glorifying God, the fear of the Lord and the keeping of His commandments then we can properly conclude it was all for selfish reasons and counts little if at all with God from an eternal perspective. In fact, the scripture says it this way, that in this case our righteousness (right deeds) are as filthy rags. Now I’m not insinuating it doesn’t matter how we respond to our fleshly whims, because obviously it does to a degree, rather I’m placing the emphasis on what is the source of our strength and the source of our restraint. If we are to prosper spiritually, if we are to please God then it can only come from our love for God and not from within ourselves, since we have no innate righteousness of our own. The challenge is the two can often look a lot alike from the outward appearance. Yet one results in God being glorified while the other glorifies man or self. In this case the end does not justify the means.
To illustrate my point, I remember in grade school, math was by far my favorite subject. I would often invent ways to to do short math in my head so I could get the correct answer quicker, I absolutely loved doing this and still to this day use a lot of these same techniques when I don’t have a calculator handy. While this can be helpful in math, in the kingdom of God there are no shortcuts, there is no room for us to come up with a better way outside of what the Lord has clearly defined within the Word of God. God has laid out His plan for our salvation and subsequent sanctification and ultimate glorification very clearly in the scriptures. Like my math class we can’t say to God, “I got the right answer so you should just accept what I’ve done.”
He is going to say to us, much like my 4th grade math teacher once said to me, “you need to show your work and how you arrived at the correct answer, you can’t just do your own thing and think you are going to get by with it.”
I remember the first time my teacher told me that my way wasn’t going to work, I stubbornly responded by continuing to do the math my way. I figured, surely she would not fail my paper just because I didn’t show the long math. I honestly believed that once she saw that I had the correct answers and that I finished my test in half the time it took the others, she’ll see things my way! Well, that didn’t quite turn out the way I thought it would, let’s just say I had a hard time sitting down for the next day or so after that episode. I eventually saw things her way and began to do and show the long math properly. Originally I felt like she was holding me back, that she was just stuck in her ways and wasn’t open to new ideas. I kind of resented her for getting me in trouble with my parents. But what I didn’t know at the time was that this same teacher would later recommend me for an accelerated math program the very next year. I eventually came to actually appreciate that teacher as she challenged me to improve in long math as I would really need it later down the road in High School and College.
That’s how it is with our heavenly Father, He already has great plans for us, He knows what we need and just how to prepare us. We have to trust Him with all our hearts and lean not to our own understanding, in all of our ways acknowledge Him and He will direct our paths! (Prov 3:5-6)
So what about you and I practically? If we really believe that the Lord loves us then it should affect how we respond to adversity, to our daily frustrations with life and with people. One of my favorite scriptures is Romans 8:28 which says, “For we know that all things work together for the good of them who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” And in another place that we are to count it all joy when we fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. The fact is we can’t walk in God’s peace unless we know God and being made aware of His love for us we come to trust Him at all times and in all circumstances, this should be the goal of our lives. When we trust Him it will absolutely change how we respond. The more we know Him, the more He will change us into the very image of His Son, Jesus Christ.